Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Hines Ward is the REAL Man of Steel

1- Unlike Superman, HINES WARD has no weakness.

2- HINES WARD hasn't actually had to run all those yards in scoring his 84 touchdowns. Sometimes he charmed the endzone closer. Even the endzone likes his smile.

3- With all due respect to Newton's 3rd Law, there is no equal or opposite reaction to HINES WARD block.

4- Superman wears HINES WARD pajamas.

5- Three Rivers stadium wasn't actually imploded, it was leveled by a HINES WARD crushing block.

6- When Heinz Field opened in 2001 and it was realized they misspelled his name, HINES WARD graciously allowed the name to remain. He simply takes it out on opponents each sunday.

7- The sound of  a HINES WARD blindside block can even be heard in the void of outer space...where he dances with the stars.

8- Superman may be able to fly, but HINES WARD can ground him with one of his signature blocks.

9- There are 4 forms of legal execution in the U.S.: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and a HINES WARD devastating block.

10- P.E.T.A. once wanted to use HINES WARD as a spokesman. That is until they saw what he does to ravens, dawgs and bengals on a regular basis.